Damn, Gurl, Long Time No See

I dropped the Exit Strategy update on you and just disappeared more or less, huh?

Over the last few – wow, seven – months, I’ve been going through all kindsa big life changes including, but not limited to:

  • Getting my legal name changed.
  • Getting married (hi, Simon!).
  • Moving to a nicer apartment.
  • Honeymooning in Las Vegas.
  • Injuring my feet from all the hardcore standing and walking I did during our move and vacation.

With all those major events going on, you might be thinking to yourself, “Wow, I bet that hoebag hasn’t done a goddamn thing with the game and now she’s going to apologize for being so absent and she’ll promise to be more active from here on out, but that’ll be a goddamn lie and we won’t see her again for another eight months.”

But you’d be wrong! At least about the not having done anything. Caint say I won’t disappear into the cave again ’cause frankly, that’s how shit gets done.


“That Was a Love Tap, Sucka!”

Even though Team Pank returned to PAYDAY 2 after the micro-transactions were removed, we weren’t long for it. I’m not sure why we stopped playing exactly, although I think it mighta just been how things looked to be moving. The h3h3 stuff was coming down the chute and if John fkn Wick doesn’t belong in the crew, YouTube personalities definitely don’t.

It’s been a struggle since then to find stuff that we can all just agree to play regularly. We’re not the type of crew that wants to game hop. We get into one game and we play it for four years straight. It’s part of why I started making The Take! I’m basically trying to get us back into our comfortable groove. To that end, I recently suggested that we return to Left 4 Dead 2, our first love.

And in order to play L4D2 properly, one has to have their HLDJ binds in order. HLDJ, if you don’t know, allows you to play music and sound effects over the voice chat in games built in Valve’s Source engine. Besides our shared library of Juggernaut, Bitch clips, Team Fortress 2 one-liners, and Randy Savage bon mots, each member of Team Pank has their own set of sound effects that they’ve personally curated. Logan favors R. Lee Ermey quotes from Full Metal Jacket. Simon has a bunch of Zer0 lines. Cyborg tends, I think, to only have a few from various sources, rather than collecting in bulk. And I have a selection of Sideshow Bob clips and what meager offerings I could glean from the soundboard on Rockstar’s website for The Warriors, one of my all-time favorite games. Of course, the one I really wanted wasn’t available there: Cleon’s “That was a love tap, sucka!” which I need for unavoidable friendly-fire incidents.

Now, I have the technology to record gameplay footage and I could have collected a clip that way, but it would have been marred by the accompanying noise of the rest of my warparty brawling in the back alleys, the sounds of Cleon’s fists connecting with some hapless Destroyer’s face, the ambient sounds of a restless Coney Island. You know, all the other stuff going on. I wanted it clean and crisp, no interference. HLDJ’s stringent audio requirements already take a huge toll on a clip’s quality.

Yesterday, though, I found a piece of software that allowed me to finally get that sound clip, beautiful and unobscured by the rest of the soundscape. PSound permitted me the privilege of unpacking all 20,000+ sounds in The Warriors to find the single one I was looking for, but I found the damn thing and now it’ll live in all its 16-bit, 10025 Hz glory in Left 4 Dead 2. I grabbed a few others too: Logan’s favorite Lizzie war cry of “You’re not the kind of pussy we like!” and Swan’s “Why don’t you tie a mattress to your back?” I’ll have to go back in later for Virgil’s “Pah-dy pah-dy pah-dy” and Cowboy’s quip about getting a chinstrap for his hat though.

Anyway, what does all this have to do with The Take!?

Access to assets!